maybe

he asked me whether this was his fate. and i asked him whether this was mine.

i wanted to say no and he wanted to say no, but neither of us could.

- yeah, maybe. in this case we're gonna live next to each other, keeping pets, and directing films about life.- he started to laugh but he liked my idea. we are almost the same. strong on the surface, weak inside. the only difference is that i still have hopes but he doesn't really, and this makes him more unstable.

but... i have to tell: that can be. maybe we are way too much complicated and maximalist but less self-confident to find happiness ever. we don't let people close enough... or maybe there are only a few of our kind, and we should find them. i would say we should find each other, if i didn't know how unstable he has been in his whole life.

at least we can talk about this honestly, after midnight, in an altered state of mind. the fears and failures both of us go through... how it feels to not have prospects... and this time he came up with the topic which assures me of his trust... so we discussed how difficult the whole stuff is..

but - anyway - accepting this situation as it is, we will never.